Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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