I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
