I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
