its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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