Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
