i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I met the friendliest cop last night
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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