you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize