Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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