I am puke
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
