Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
