yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
