hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
