There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
