OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
