the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize