I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize