So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
