So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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