Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I looked at my own cervix.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
