We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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