Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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