Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
