dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize