Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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