Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
