I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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