Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
