sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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