If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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