I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
