Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
