So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize