Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
