ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
