I wish I only lived at night.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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