i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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