We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
