dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
