I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
