ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
