My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize