Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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