I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
