my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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