so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
