That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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