omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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