fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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