Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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