I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
too bad you live with your parents still
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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