are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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