North Korea, Best Korea!
fuck your aforementioned shoe
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
try to milk me bitch
Randomize