He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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