I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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