I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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