Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
