I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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