i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
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