I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
