I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You took a bar mat shot.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
