If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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