who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
honey bunches of taint.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
