i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize