I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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