And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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