This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
