Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
