My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Two words: blizzard sex
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
