So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
